All the Good Things

He was in the first third grade class I taught at Saint Mary's School in Morris, Minn. All 34 of my students were dear to me, but Mark Eklund was one in a million. Very neat in appearance, but had that happy-to-be-alive attitude that made even his occasional mischieviousness delightful.

Mark talked incessantly. I had to remind him again and again that talking without permission was not acceptable. What impressed me so much, though, was his sincere response every time I had to correct him for misbehaving - "Thank you for correcting me, Sister!" I didn't know what to make of it at first, but before long I became accustomed to hearing it many times a day.

One morning my patience was growing thin when Mark talked once too often, and then I made a novice-teacher's mistake. I looked at him and said, "If you say one more word, I am going to tape your mouth shut!" 

It wasn't ten seconds later when Chuck blurted out, "Mark is talking again." I hadn't asked any of the students to help me watch Mark, but since I had stated the punishment in front of the class, I had to act on it.

I remember the scene as if it had occurred this morning. I walked to my desk, very deliberately opened my drawer and took out a roll of masking tape. Without saying a word, I proceeded to Mark's desk, tore off two pieces of tape and made a big X with them over his mouth. I then returned to the front of the room. As I glanced at Mark to see how he was doing he winked at me. That did it! I started laughing. The class cheered as I walked back to Mark's desk, removed the tape and shrugged my shoulders. His first words were, "Thank you for correcting me, Sister."

At the end of the year I was asked to teach junior-high math. The years flew by, and before I knew it Mark was in my classroom again. He was more handsome than ever and just as polite. Since he had to listen carefully to my instructions in the "new math," he did not talk as much in ninth grade as he had in the third.

One Friday, things just didn't feel right. We had worked hard on a new concept all week, and I sensed that the students were frowning, frustrated with themselves - and edgy with one another. I had to stop this crankiness before it got out of hand. So I asked them to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name. Then I told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down. It took the remainder of he class period to finish the assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed me the papers. Charlie smiled. Marked said, "Thank you for teaching me, Sister. Have a good weekend."

That Saturday, I wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and I listed what everyone else had said about that individual.

On Monday I gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling.

"Really?" I heard whispered.

"I never knew that meant anything to anyone!"

"I didn't know others liked me so much!"

No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. I never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another again.

That group of students moved on. Several years later, after I returned from vacation, my parents met me at the airport. As we were driving home, Mother asked me the usual questions about the trip - the weather, my experiences in general. There was a light lull in the conversation.

Mother gave Dad a side-ways glance and simply says, "Dad?"

My father cleared his throat as he usually did before something important. "The Eklunds called last night," he began.

"Really?" I said. "I haven't heard from them in years. I wonder how Mark is."

Dad responded quietly. "Mark was killed in Vietnam," he said. "The funeral is tomorrow, and his parents would like it if you could attend." To this day I can still point to the exact spot on I-494 where Dad told me about Mark.

I had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. Mark looked so handsome, so mature. All I could think at that moment was, Mark, I would give all the masking tape in the world if only you would talk to me. The church was packed with Mark's friends. Chuck's sister sang "The Battle Hymn of the Republic." Why did it have to rain on the day of the funeral? It was difficult enough at the graveside. The pastor said the usual prayers, and the bugler played taps. One by one those who loved Mark took a last walk by the coffin and sprinkled it with holy water.

I was the last one to bless the coffin. As I stood there, one of the soldiers who had acted as pallbearer came up to me.

"Were you Mark's math teacher?" he asked. I nodded as I continued to stare at the coffin. "Mark talked about you a lot," he said.

After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates headed to Chucks farmhouse for lunch. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting for me.

"We want to show you something," his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket.

"They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it."

Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. I knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which I had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him.

"Thank you so much for doing that" Mark's mother said. "As you can see, Mark treasured it."

Mark's classmates started to gather around us. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, "I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home."

Chuck's wife said, "Chuck asked me to put this in our wedding album."

"I have mine too," Marilyn said.

"It's in my diary." Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group.

"I carry this with me at all times," Vicki said without batting an eyelash. "I think we all saved our lists."

That's when I finally sat down and cried. I cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.

The purpose of this letter, is to encourage everyone to compliment the people you love and care about. We often tend to forget the importance of showing our affections and love. Sometimes the smallest of things, could mean the most to another. I am asking you, to please send this letter around and spread the message and encouragement, to express your love and caring by complimenting and being open with communication. The density of people in society, is so thick, that we forget that life will end one day. And we don't know when that one day will be. So please, I beg of you, to tell the people you love and care for, that they are special and important. Tell them, before it is too late. I leave these messages with you and ask you to continue to spread the message to everyone you know.

Pig and the Cow

Why is it," said the rich man to his minister, "that people call me stingy when everyone knows that when I die I'm leaving everything to the church?"
"Let me tell you a fable about the pig and the cow," said the minister. "The pig was unpopular while the cow was beloved. This puzzled the pig. 'People speak warmly of your gentle nature and your sorrowful eyes,' the pig said to the cow. 'They think you're generous because each day you give them milk and cream. But what about me? I give them everything I have. I give bacon and ham. I provide bristles for brushes. They even pickle my feet! Yet not one likes me. Why is that?'"

Beginning today

Beginning today I will no longer worry about yesterday.
It is in the past and the past will never change.
Only I can change by choosing to do so.
Beginning today I will no longer worry about tomorrow.
Tomorrow will always be there, waiting for me to make the most of it.
But I cannot make the most of tomorrow without first making the most of today.
Beginning today I will look in the mirror and I will see a person worthy of my respect and admiration.
This capable person looking back at me is someone I enjoy spending time with and someone I would like to get to know better.
Beginning today I will cherish each moment of my life.
I value this gift bestowed upon me in this world and I will unselfishly share this gift with others.
I will use this gift to enhance the lives of others.
Beginning today I will take a moment to step off the beaten path and to revel in the mysteries I encounter.
I will face challenges with courage and determination.
I will overcome what barriers there may be which hinder my quest for growth and self-improvement.
Beginning today I will take life one day at a time, one step at a time.
Discouragement will not be allowed to taint my positive self-image, my desire to succeed or my capacity to love.
Beginning today I walk with renewed faith in human kindness.
Regardless of what has gone before, I believe there is hope for a brighter and better future.
Beginning today I will open my mind and my heart.
I will welcome new experiences. I will meet new people.
I will not expect perfection from myself nor anyone else: perfection does not exist in an imperfect world.
But I will applaud the attempt to overcome human foibles.
Beginning today I am responsible for my own happiness and I will do things that make me happy . . . admire the beautiful wonders of nature, listen to my favorite music, pet a kitten or a puppy, soak in a bubble bath . . . pleasure can be found in the most simple of gestures.
Beginning today I will learn something new; I will try something different; I will savor all the various flavors life has to offer.
I will change what I can and the rest I will let go.
I will strive to become the best me I can possibly be.
Beginning today. And every day.
Just a thought, but as I often think of you and realize how much God loves you, sometimes I think we need to also love ourselves through His eyes. God Bless.

Most importent part of body

My mother used to ask me what the most important part of the body is. Through the years I would take a guess at what I thought was the correct.

When I was younger, I thought sound was very important to us as humans, so I said, "My ears, Mommy."

She said, "No. Many people are deaf. But you keep thinking about it and I will ask you again soon."

Several years passed before she asked me again. Since making my first attempt, I had contemplated the correct answer.

So this time I told her, "Mommy, sight is very important to everybody, so it must be our eyes."

She looked at me and told me, "You are learning fast, but the answer is not correct because there are many people who are blind."

Stumped again, I continued my quest for knowledge and over the years,

Mother asked me a couple more times and always her answer was, "No. But you are getting smarter e! very year, my child."

Then one year, my grandfather died. Everybody was hurt. Everybody was crying. Even my father cried. I remember that especially because it was only the second time I saw him cry.

My Mom looked at me when it was our turn to say our final good-bye to my Grandfather. She asked me, "Do you know the most important body part yet, my dear?" I was shocked when she asked me this now. I always thought this was a game between her and me.

She saw the confusion on my face and told me, "This question is very important. It shows that you have really lived in your life. For every body part you gave me in the past, I have told you were wrong and I have given you an example why. But today is the day you need to learn this important lesson."

She looked down at me as only a mother can. I saw her eyes well up with tears. She said, "My dear, the most important body part is your shoulder."

I asked, "Is it because it holds up my head?"

She replied, "No, it is because it can hold the head of a friend or a loved one when they cry. Everybody needs a shoulder to cry on sometime in life, my dear. I only hope that you have enough love and friends that you will always have a shoulder to cry on when you need it."

Then and there I knew the most important body part is not a selfish one. It is made for others and not for yourself. It is sympathetic to the pain of others.

People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did . But people will NEVER forget how you made them feel..

one more day to live

If I had only one more day to live,
All love, praise, and glory to you I'd give.
I'd try my best to put a smile on someone's face
To share with them your saving grace.

I'd remember things about my life
The times you were there through fun and strife,
And thank you then for all you've done.
Without you no victories would have been won.

If I have one more day before I die
I would apologize to the kid I made cry.
I would take back the harsh words said to everyone,
And fill their hearts with laughter and fun.

If I only had one more day
I wouldn't push anyone away.
I wouldn't try to hurt a friend
Because I should love them to the very end.

Why not live each day as if it were our last
Looking towards our future and forgetting the past
To be a Christian each day we live
And most importantly to always give.

One Voice Can Make a Difference

There's a song by Billy Gilham entitled "One Voice." The lyrics are powerful:

One voice, one simple word

Hearts know what to say

One dream can change the world

Keep believing

Till you find a way

The message is important when you think about its true meaning. One voice, truly focused, that will not rest until it achieves its desired goal can change the world. A single voice can make a difference, but the question then becomes: how best to use our voice?

When I look at the editorial page, I see people who express themselves. They write letters, they feel better, but no real change happens.

I'd like to share a personal story.

Every afternoon my mother enjoys watching Judge Judy. The television station that she watches is constantly being interrupted with a million commercials. If it isn't another commercial by a lawyer winning yet another million-dollar case for some frivolous reason, it's the "breaking news" stories that are never really breaking anyway.

Couldn't that story have waited for the actual news broadcast, which is always about 15 minutes away? They just seem to enjoy interrupting Judge Judy instead.

And then there are those awful weather reports. If a storm is stirring in Grand Rapids, interrupt Judge Judy. Raindrops on the west side, lets interrupt Sheindlin. Never mind that she is deliberating a case, or worse yet, that the verdict will be missed. If there are raindrops north of M59, that is news! Apparently no one took the time to complain about it -- that is until my mother sent the program director of WJBK an email and, lo and behold, the next morning she received a phone call!

After expressing her frustration, the program director politely explained that the station had no control over the number and amount of commercials. The network decided that. And the text flashing across the bottom of the screen? It was there for the hearing-impaired.

"What about weatherman Rich Luterman showing us the weather authorities, sky tracker, Doppler radar, satellite images of raindrops from 30,000 feet?" she asked cynically. The program director hesitated, unable to give her an answer. To quote Judge Judy, "It's outrageous! and 'Um' is not an answer!"

I have to admit my mother felt better after the phone call, but when I sat down with her and asked her what had changed, her answer was a thoughtful silence.

That's the problem. My mother used her voice, and expressed her opinion, so she's halfway there, but we need to be a voice for change.

Let's take a look at one of those far-reaching changes. In 1980, in Fair Oaks, Calif., Candy Lightner's 13-year-old daughter, Cari, was killed by a drunk driver while walking down a street. On that day her mother promised herself that she would fight to make her daughter's senseless death count for something positive. That month Mothers Against Drunk Driving was formed.

How many lives has MADD saved? Countless. One woman's voice became a nationwide crusade against the leniency of the sentences being issued for this criminal act, and American law changed. Her moral objection against a court system that passed out trivial sentences against offenders changed the way we looked at drinking and driving.

In the years that followed, Ms. Lightner left MADD concerned that the organization she had created had lost its focus. "I started MADD to deal with the issue of drunk driving, not alcohol usage." She said. "It has become far more neo-prohibitionist than I ever wanted or envisioned."

Although the movement she began seems to have lost its direction, it still inevitably saves lives.

Change requires more than just a letter to the editorial page. It requires a more forceful voice and action.

Find your voice and your calling. Remember, your influence can make a difference. If you decide to write a letter to the editor's page, go further; get angry. Take a position that will draw in support, and in the words of the great Football Hall of Fame quarterback, Roger Staubach, when teaching his lessons of how to win in life:

"Persevere. Go all the way, because there's not much traffic on the extra mile."

Who will break the chain

As I was passing the elephants, I suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from their bonds but for some reason, they did not.

I saw a trainer near by and asked why these beautiful, magnificent animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away. “Well,” he said, “when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it’s enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.”

I was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn’t, they were stuck right where they were.

Like the elephants, how many of us go through life hanging onto a belief that we cannot do something, simply because we failed at it once before?